After I put yesterdays blog post to my Facebook, someone came back with the statement that my egg-donor had always put me first, as every devoted mother does.

Except, she didn’t and she wasn’t. Abusers are cunning like that and it’s all part of the abuse, especially from Narcissistic Mothers. They are really really good at hiding their cruelties from the rest of the world so that when you speak up, they can throw themselves into martyr mode with accompanying “Woe is me”.

You see, a truly devoted mother wouldn’t do the things my egg-donor has done and tried to do to me.

Mothers don’t get their 10 year daughters to take racy pictures of them in lingerie for their husbands.

Mothers don’t isolate their children from the rest of their entire family via lies, threats and gaslighting.

Mothers don’t destroy their daughter’s self-esteem by denigrating their daughter’s every accomplishment and by telling their daughter that she won’t attend any function or performance because it’s not worth anything and it doesn’t matter.

Mothers don’t punish differences of opinion, at all, and especially not with ‘banishment’ from the mother’s life.

Mothers don’t scream into the phone that they never want contact again and their daughter is worthless and selfish because their daughter said that their grandchild simply didn’t enjoy an activity that the mother does.

Mothers don’t fly into fits of rage and threaten daughters with brooms and then proceed to destroy stereo systems with the broom.

Mothers don’t totally erase all traces of their daughter in the home when their daughter makes the decision to go live with their father, even to the point of the daughter having to sleep on an air mattress when she comes for a visit two weeks later.

Mothers don’t blame abuse their daughters endure on their daughter, nor do they turn a blind eye to it.

Mothers don’t base their love for their daughter on how well their daughter ‘toes the party line’.

Mothers inform their daughter of life-changing events, like when the mother gets engaged, BEFORE they inform their friends, especially when the daughter is still in school and living at home.

Mothers don’t make their 12 year old daughter totally responsible for her own laundry, including ironing without some kind of instruction and guidance.

Mothers don’t expect their daughters to know how to run a household and be a productive member of society without some kind of instruction in those kind of things.

Mothers don’t punish their daughters for not automatically knowing these things.

Mothers don’t physically assault their adult daughters because they miss them so much and their life is hard right now.

See,  I could go on, but it would be just pointless. I don’t have to prove that I was abused by a Narcissist, not to anyone. I don’t have to prove that her carefully constructed image was a lie. I know it was, I lived it.

Fear and silence are an abusers favourite tools, but you see, I’m no longer afraid and I’m no longer silent.