Archive for October, 2008

Feminism – What is it?

Posted by: Tareshenin Life in Life
21
Oct

Good question.

Does it mean that I should feel guilty about being a SAHM and housewife? Am I betraying my sex by being happy in a ‘traditionally female’ lifestyle? Am I doing my son a disservice by not having a career and a full-time job, preferring to be at home for him and putting my energy towards my home, his school and *GASP* my knitting?

I don’t think so. Isn’t feminism supposed to be about doing what you like and damn the torpedos? Isn’t it supposed to be about equal pay for equal work? If a woman wants to be a CEO of a Fortune 500 company, good on her. Actually, I hope that ANYONE who wants to be a CEO gets the chance they deserve.

I’m tired of being looked at because I love to be a wife and a mom and I actually ENJOY staying at home. I’m tired of women being slammed because they have careers.  I’m tired of men being ridiculed because they have the opportunity to actually be the Man of the House.  People need to get off this gender role thing and accept that people should do what they are good at and love.

Oh, and by the way, boy can knit, too.

Breaking news………….

Posted by: Tareshenin Life in Life
17
Oct

4 years ago today, I landed on these fair shores. It was raining, of course. Imagine that.

I will be eternally grateful to this brilliant little swamp for showing me my true self. It tried it’s best to chew me up and spit me out, but I came through it a stronger person with a greater appreciation for who I am and what the true meaning of friendship is.

PA170028

First, the insurance part. We are legally obligated here to have health insurance. Insurance companies here MUST offer the ‘basic policy’ for around 89 euros a person. Certain things are required to be in this policy and some insurance companies throw in little extras because our insurance industry is still competitive. After you have the basics covered (doctor visits, hospital, certain meds, and so on), you can pick extras. Like vision, dental, extra psych. I’d have to look at our policy to see what the entire list of extras is. These extras, of course, add to your policy and you can pick them for one member of your family or the whole family. Insurance companies are not allowed to refuse ANYONE from the basic policy and they can’t raise the premiums based on pre-existing conditions. (That’s the part I really really like)

This year, they introduced a 150 euro, per person, per year deductible. I think I was the only person in our circle not complaining. Compared to the US, that’s peanuts. For families below the median income, they get a refund on a monthly basis from the tax office.

Now onto how our doctors works. You have to sign up with a ‘huisarts’ or GP. Earlier, it wasn’t possible to switch, but that’s changed. I don’t particularly like my GP, but since she’s part of a practice, I can usually avoid her and I only need my GP like once a year. There is no co-pay thing at the time of service and doctor visits are 100% covered, and not part of the deductible.

Most GPs have certain hours during the day that you can call to make an appointment. This doesn’t count for emergencies, however. In order to see a specialist, you have to have a referral from your GP. In your case, you would get a referral to a OB/GYN because you’re a high risk pregnancy. Our GPs handle a lot more than US GPs as well. Birth control, and pap smears are done in their office. I personally like this policy because it saves the specialists time for people that REALLY needs them and they aren’t wasting their time on Crazy Aunty Grizelda the professional hypochondriac.

When you get your appointment, you’re not collected by a nurse to sit in the exam room for 30 minutes until the doctor breezes by for a 5 minute chat. The doctor comes to get you and usually takes you back to their office/exam room. If it’s a referral, they print out the letter, sign it and you’re on your way. Otherwise, it’s just like home. They aren’t pill happy here and sometimes you have to almost argue with the older ones. But that’s more a Dutch culture/Calvinistic/pain is for the weak thing. They don’t have as many nurses in the office as we have in the US, either. And the only time I’m NOT seen by the doctor is when I get my pap smear.

So, how does this all manage to work? How is it that our medical costs are lower, our insurance is cheaper and we get the same level if not better medical care in the US?

First of all, insurance/litigation payments are set by law. If you’re injured and have to sue, you’re NOT going to get millions of dollars. If the injury disables you, you’ll get a payment based on your age, what salary you would have brought home until you retired, and the level of your disability. They also aren’t big on pain/suffering payments. Once again, it’s that Dutch/Calvinistic/pain is for sissies thing. Dutchies are strange little people but I love them dearly. That means our GPs have seriously low malpractice insurance premiums, which translates into lower running costs for their offices.

Second, our GPs get a lump sum payment from the govt. each year based on the number of patients their practice has. Since this comes from my tax dollars, I look it like a retainer fee you would pay a lawyer. It also means that my GP isn’t trying to cram patients in like sardines. Their education costs are lower as well. Yes, they student loans to pay off but it’s nowhere near the amount that US doctors have.

So…….in order to bring health care costs to a reasonable level in the US, there has be a lot of reform. They have to work on the legal system to stop these multi-million dollar payouts. Once those payouts are set at a more reasonable level, then they need to work on the insurance companies. As I said, we’re a country of about 16 million people. Kids are covered at no cost to the parents. We probably have as many insurance companies here as there are in the US. But they almost always make a profit. Our insurance company is a cooperative/non-profit deal. So any profit is shared with the policy holders. That 9 euro profit share we got excited me so much, I went out and bought sock yarn. *grin* We also have our home/renters insurance with them and it’s dirt cheap for a lot of coverage.

The US also needs to work on it’s higher education system. How many brilliant teenagers are stuck working in blue collar jobs because they couldn’t afford college? But that is a rant for another day.

Letting go.

Posted by: Tareshenin Life in Life
15
Oct

I’m bad about letting things go. I know that for a fact. I’m even worse at letting go of things that I perceive as personal. Which means that if you treat me badly, insult me, or hurt my feelings to the point that I cut off contact with you…….. Yeah, not gonna let it go.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that’s probably because I take a lot from people I consider friends. I’m not going to cut contact with you because you forget to call once in a while, or you don’t email me back. I even let casual insults slide. Believe it or not, I’m a really nice person.  For the most part.

But……. oh you knew there was a ‘but’ coming up, didn’t you, gentle reader? BUT!! If  you continually insult me, my lifestyle, my kitchen appliances, my habits, and my hobbies, I’m going to have issues.  If I offer you my friendship, no strings attached and after painstaking review of said friendship, I detect a distinct pattern of it being ME that’s doing all the giving, I’m going to have issues. Eventually, I’ll say something to you about this. I’ll give you a chance to explain/apologize/whatever.

Doesn’t mean I’ll let it go, though. It’ll still hurt me and I’ll still get angry that once again, I let someone treat me like crap. Especially when you claim to have ‘valid reasons’ for treating me like I’m less than human and refuse to respond directly to what I say.

I’m not sure that I’ll ever learn to let things like this go. Maybe if I did, I wouldn’t be me and that might just be bigger loss than letting go of things that hurt me.

VOTE!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Tareshenin Life in Life
9
Oct
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Meanwhile, back at the ranch……

Posted by: Tareshenin Life in Life
9
Oct

You know, for ‘JUST’ a housewife, I do a lot. And yesterday was no exception.

  • 8:30am – Meeting at WeeDutchie’s school for the ouderraad – waslijst en crea.
  • 11:45 – WeeDutchie home from school, fix lunch, find swim stuff, get swim stuff together.
  • 1:00pm – Opa here to take us to swim lessons since today is a ‘kijkdag’
  • 2:00pm – swim lessons
  • 8:15pm – ouderraad meeting

And in between all that there is cleaning, laundry, cooking, typing up the waslijst and the letter to go with it, setting up a forum for the ouderraad, getting my notebook together for the ouderraad, and trying to find some time for me.

Next week is fall vacation and somewhere in there, I have to move a walk-in closet, move TallDutchie’s office, clean and paint the smaller bedroom and move WeeDutchie into that smaller bedroom. Maybe I should just make a seperate post of the things I need to accomplish this century.

I’m constantly amazed at people that think being a housewife is easy. I admit, I used to be one of those people. Boy, did I get a rude awakening when I moved here. Even when we were living in the US and I worked full time, I did most of the ‘kid stuff’, but when it came to house cleaning, grocery shopping, household projects, and the like, I had help.  Since we both worked full time, we both cleaned, did laundry, cooked, and we did the grocery shopping together.

Then we moved here and I couldn’t work for almost 2 years because of the whole Immigration deal and the whole language thing. Besides, I wanted to be a housewife. I wanted to be able to be home for WeeDutchie, because my mom was a working mom and I remembered how much it sucked to go to a babysitters or when she had to miss school things because she had to work. I thought, ‘Just how hard can this housewife gig be?’

Reality is a cruel mistress. When you are queen of your own domain, YOU set the schedule and YOU are the CEO, COO, CFO, CIO, secretary, receptionist, facilities manager, entertainment and social director, head cook and bottle washer, and last but not least……. the janitor.

So to anyone that thinks being a housewife is a cushy job? Bite me. You have no clue.

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